Dear brown, smelly sewage water leaking down my bathroom wall and through to the common room floor below me,
Why, oh why, did you have to grace me with your presence at midnight on a Saturday instead of noon on a Thursday, when the maintenance guy is in the building? I mean, could you have at least given me a few hours notice so I could move my toiletries out of the impending flood? I know I can just boil them all to remove the traces of feces but think about it...would YOU want to wear a retainer to bed that you knew was previously dripped upon with poo water? I thought not. Ew. For real. Just...ew.